red lips with fedor

Awesome Music Introduction: Stephen Shultz aka Laodecia7th

I want to introduce the most excellent music of a good friend of mine, Stephen Shultz. He calls his music BGM -"Back Ground Music" -which I think does his music a GREAT injustice. This is straight-up excellent club music!! :D
I, personally, consider it more of a beautiful and artful mix of ambient with techno music, all instrumental.

Please do give it a listen, 'especially' his "Tunnels" piece. Just excellent!! And also, please share. I'm trying to talk him into setting up a YouTube channel for his music right now.:D

Please leave comments as to what you think of his work.

Thanks so much!
red lips with fedor

(no subject)

Today has been rather 'off' for me... I feel really down and sad. I've been doing really good not thinking about my ex, Dallas, for some time now. He does come to mind often but generally I'm just thinking about how I want to get my stuff back from him...not actually thinking about 'him'. I have my moments where something happens and all of a sudden I have this intense feeling of missing him...generally it happens around something we used to do together or talk about, etc. Thankfully, that doesn't happen often. I was with him for 10yrs. and was very happy with him and loved him so very dearly, so how could I not have those moments...?

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red lips with fedor

Tired of arguing with men about how women are truly treated...

I'm jumping up here on my Feminist podium again for a minute: I got into a convo. with my brother a couple of days ago about how Women are treated in our society -he seems to feel that I'm full of it, that women aren't treated badly -hell, we've got women in high places in the gov't, what the hell else could we want?! And he brings up how men are made to look stupid in the media -tv shows like, "Two and a Half Men", "Malcolm in the Middle", "Simpsons", etc. -and he's right, a lot of shows do make men look stupid in the media. But men aren't treated any worse off because of those shows in real life.

Now, I've gotten on here in the past and asked for other women to speak up regarding how they feel they are treated by men. Not ONE woman spoke up. While that was greatly disappointing to me, I understand that many of you may not feel safe to share your experiences in such an open forum like Facebook...even though my page is Friends-Only. And some of you just may not give a rat's ass, either. That's your prerogative.

But, I am incensed by anyone telling us that as Women, we are not treated badly, that our media and society is not putting messages out there that further reinforces certain ideas and stereotypes about women which further engenders bad behaviors toward us. From commercials featuring a woman in a bikini which is trying to sell a fucking hamburger, to the majority of our movies featuring MALE actors as the "hero" vs. a woman...and the roles women are continually put into in tv shows and movies and commercials, etc.

But it goes beyond all that. Let's take this to a street-level: It's how we're treated 'each and every' day by men in our 'everyday life' and they think it's ok. At the work place, I've got men who will go out of his way (physically) to ask one of the young guys I work with a question rather than myself...the funny thing is when those kids show their ignorance and have to refer to me for the answer, or I just step in with it. I've got a female co-worker who CONSTANTLY has men who will NOT look at her when asking a question -even though she's the one answering it. They treat her like she's stupid regardless of how much knowledge and experience she's got and is demonstrating in trying to help them with their problem. She and I have talked about this on more than one occasion. She's told her male co-workers about some of her experiences in how she's treated by other men just because she's female. One male co-worker recently, first-hand, observed such an 'experience'...he later told her, "I believed you when you told us about this, but WOW!" Doesn't sound like he 'truly' believed her, to me.:/
I go to work wearing a button-up, collared shirt with an ugly blue apron over it and blue jeans. This apron covers my front down to nearly my knees. It's not tight on me at all. I wear my hair up and back and the only makeup I tend to wear is mascara (for the guys, it's the black stuff we put on our eyelashes). So I'm not all "done-up" like I'm going out or anything. Pretty plain looking. I 'still' get guys who think it's ok to leer at me in a very obvious way, frankly looking me up and older guy (old enough to be my father) recently told me that I was pretty sexy looking for this early in the morning...he came by me twice to look me up and down both times.(which was disgusting and very seriously made me feel ashamed and disgusting) I get sexual comments, too. Is this at all respectful toward women? Fuck no, it's not.

But since men don't hear us speak out about it, they don't believe it's happening. And they don't watch themselves or eachother to see it happening, either.
I stood next to my ex in a gas station once back in NY while he was paying for gas at the counter and the guy at the counter stared 'very openly' at my chest nearly the whole time. I had a black men's comic-book t-shirt on, so the collar went up to my neck and it wasn't the least bit tight. And it didn't have a ton of character's on it, so he wasn't checking out the artwork, either. I was so angry/shocked/and ashamed that I didn't know what to say and so we ended up leaving that gas station without me saying a word to the guy about his staring...which, to this day, I hate myself for. But my ex 'never' noticed it. I told him about it afterwards and he was genuinely surprised.

So many men get upset when we 'feminists' start speaking up for ourselves and speaking out against the ways we are treated by men. I think those men get upset because they know that in some way they are also guilty of some sexist thing, either said or done, against a woman. And they don't like to have it brought up.
But if we don't speak up and out against this shit, it's not going to stop.

Here's an article by women about experiences they've had since they were little more than a child regarding being yelled out at in public or in some way sexually harassed by strange men:
And here's another one: And this one has something men LOVE to spout about all the time, STATISTICS.

No, women are not -even to this day- all paid equal to their male counterparts. And no, just because some women use their sex to help them get ahead in this world does NOT mean the rest of us do the same. And just because we have breasts and a vagina does not give you the right to leer and oggle us nor to yell disgusting things at us from street corners and/or moving vehicles, etc. and it certainly does not mean that we are any less intelligent than you are.

I'm tired of the bullshit and I'm tired of arguing with men who refuse to open their fucking eyes and see how the women in their lives are being treated and to take it seriously.
I'm tired of being treated like I'm less than a person and that I'm below a man.
I'm fucking tired of it all. I wish other women would stand with me and raise their voices and share their experiences and feelings on these matters, too.
red lips with fedor

(no subject)

My life has been busy but at the same time...I don't feel like a ton has taken place. Kinda weird, right? Definitely had it's up's and down's, like anyone else's, I suppose...

I'm not going to talk about the negative right now though...maybe another time. Right now I want to concentrate on the positives for there have been many this year so far.

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red lips with fedor

Elf makeup....

Haven't posted in a while, but I thought I'd share an Elven/Fantasy photo-shoot I did with myself a week or so ago:

Had a bit of fun a week ago...on my day off I decided to play around with my makeup in an attempt to re-create an Elf/fantasy 'look' I did back in 2003...well, I achieved that and then some...;D

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red lips with fedor


Not a whole incredibly lot going on right now...have another job interview this afternoon. I'm still at my current job, about to hit my 10month anniversary there and still going strong...but I need something else...something that pays more and is full-time. I need to be able to support myself on a regular basis and my current job (retail) just isn't allowing that, unfortunately.

So, anyways...still doing Zumba. I kind of trailed off of it and got lazy about it after my mother's husband died back in May...during the time he was in the hospital, I didn't have transportation to and from the gym for my zumba I got used to not going often...and even after I got my license and was driving on my own, I was already in the habit of not going very often.
But, this past month I've been working on breaking that...week before last I went 3x's, last week 4x's, and already this week I'm looking at 3-4x's again.
-I'll be going tonight if my job interview/s end in time...if not, then tomorrow will make my 3x's this week.

I've got some up-date pics. to show you all...below this

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red lips with fedor

S1 vs S2 journal layout style....???

I used to have this really cool blue background for my journal and I believe I was using the older S1 layout option. I've gone back to that to see if I can insert a new background image...but I'm a bit lost now as to what I need to do.
So, for now...I'm stuff with the newer S2 layout style.

Anyone able to help me out?